Sep 19, 2008

Sissyphobia and Butchyphobia aren't Homophobia (as it turns out)

A recent, hit-and-run, visitor comes to "share" here at Eruptions At The Foot Of The Volcano and generally smears his/her vile shallowness regarding LGBT Christians/others all over the "comment" pages...quite often I'm the "featured" recipient of his/her emotionally/spiritually "challenged" homophobiclike observations.

Today at Queers United (see side bar on the right or click below) I discovered something that I didn't know:

"Sissyphobia" is a term used to describe people who fear or hate effeminate men AKA sissies. The term is similar to homophobia but is instead focused on a fear of the gender identity as opposed to the sexual orientation of the individual."

Sissyphobia or Butchyphobia?

I would imagine the same "fear of the gender identity" applies to "butch" women?

Anyway, during the course of my lifetime I've known many "sissy" men and "butch" women and "borderliners" who are every-day, run-of-the-mill, heterosexuals...go figure, why aren't people what they "seem" to be?

In my opinion, like homophobes, "sissy/butchyphobes" are spending far-too-mucho time fearing gender and sexual orientation, apparent or not, of OTHER human beings (as if they could ever know what ANYONE does sexually and "catch it" like Asian Flu)...I would strongly suggest they/he/she keep their eyes firmly planted on their own brain/behinds, morals, wrists, posture/stride and find something more constructive to do (than come here and get deleted)...I would suggest if one wants to worry about pending death they PRAY like crazy about the insane/deadly and bloody wars generated by Bush/Cheney/Rumsfeld and Karl Rove...liars all.

Do you think we've discovered the root of the famous ICK factor?

Dear "Phobic" vistor:

You are welcome to participate here as any other, flawed, regular, standardsized, healthy spiritually/emotionally seeking human beings who look within for acceptance of who they REALLY ARE (and what their possibly ILL personal character really represents and then attempts to DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT). Seeking a wholesome spiritual balance in our lives is admirable. Being of service/communicating with one another, a REAL blessing...the choice is yours, however, Sissy/Butchy Gender/Homophobiclike attacks are unhealthy/unnecessary and will be deleted quickly..."it's for your own good" as the unorthodox puritan/dominionist-fundamentalists might say.

Vaya con Dios, or bienvenido, it's up to you.

photos/thanks to "flickr" photosharing


FranIAm said...

You are brilliant Leonardo.

Grandmère Mimi said...

Leonardo, I'll share a story with you. Soon after I began attending my church, the parish had a harvest home dinner. I was seated across from a person whom I had not met before, who introduced him/herself to me. I didn't ask for the name to be repeated, because I'm really bad about names, and I have a certain embarrassment about that. I'm sitting there thinking, "Oh my God! I don't know if I'm taling to an effeminate man or a butch woman." I was extremely disoriented throughout the whole dinner by not knowing the gender of the person sitting opposite me.

This happened before I was "converted" to the cause of inclusion and equality for GLTB folks. I don't think it was the "ick" factor, because it didn't matter either way, except that it was important to me at the time to know the gender of the person I was talking to.

Turned out she was a female with a very feminine name, and I could have found that out simply by asking. I wonder if I would feel the same disorientation now.

Just an anecdote to demonstrate that we often want very much to place people in well-defined categories.

Leonardo Ricardo said...

Grandmère Mimi, I have a story that haunts me that is similar to yours (albeit less polite/tasteful)...I was drinking in the West Los Angeles/Hollywood area one Saturday AFTERNOON, I was in my very early 30's...the bar was a lunch/dinnerplace that didn't have many guests (which I liked) in the post-lunch/pre-dinner late afternoon...anyway, I got drunk sitting at the bar yammering it up and laughing and talking with strangers (I was alone) when suddenly I became aware of another person who had joined our festive little Saturday crowd...I couldn't figure out if he was a she or a seemed to have mattered greatly to me...well, being drunk, being aggressive, being obnoxious and thinking myself amusing, I finally asked her/him...WHAT ARE YOU accross the corner of the bar where he/she was standing...I never saw such a expression of horror, hurt, isolation and sadness in my life before... she/he didn't answer but left the bar more smiles, no more laughter, no more casual fellowship.

A couple of years later I "got sober" and I prayed that the person I had hurt so recklessly was happy and loved...I prayed and pray that the person I embarrassed has peace of mind and has found joy in her/his life.

I think of her/him often and that was over 30 years ago.

Lord hear my prayer

Grandmère Mimi said...

Leonardo, I see that I left a part out of my story. I did not ask her to repeat her name, because I was already thrown off balance by not knowing her gender just by looking at her.

Regarding your tale, take heart. All things work to good for those who love God. You prayed for the person, and I pray with you that somehow God has put things right. May the Lord hear your prayer.

Leonardo Ricardo said...

Thank you, Grandmère Mimi, I was sitting here thinking about our much unnecessary pain over "difference"'s the key to the "loving thy neighbor" part...confusion, frustration, fear and's all got to go out the window...sometimes I think the Presiding Bishop, and certainly not the ABC, misunderstand the importance of full IS the basis for survival and international good health.

Grandmère Mimi said...

It's coming, Leonardo. The only uncertainty is the timing. The ABC found the right answer, but he won't act on it. Every time I think of Bishop Gene being excluded from the Lambeth meetings, I get angry. How COULD he do that?

Leonardo Ricardo said...

How COULD he do that??

Well, the me that thinks he knows "human nature" thinks he's caught glimpses of the Archbishop of Canterbury's snobbish attitude toward Americans (forgetting his Blair to our Bush)...but truly, I think he resulted to common "punishing" with backup thoughts of "being fair"...being fair always includes throwing the "outcasts" to Lions (when pressed). I'm afraid I lost any respect for the ABC a while back...I truly wanted him to be a more courageous fellow/leader than he is...also, he may be brilliant, but he's not that "quick" in the common sense department (or terribly ill advised).

Kirkepiscatoid said...

Well, you know, we're back to the task of being on the welcoming committee instead of the selection committee, aren't we?

Leonardo Ricardo said...

I love the welcoming committee...once I was on a vestry (2 yr member) and I was immediately put in charge of social events...quite a smash they turned out to be (in spite of a few old grimsters that grunted at all the success, and growth and FUN, Lord help us...FUN!)..I was quickly asked to join the Bishops Committee...also FUN and hospitable with a Bishop that SMILED and opened his heart and arms to everyone (everyone means everyone)...hospitable, yes, it's a hell of a great opening opportunity for more enlightening and loving of thy neighbor than slamming the door of hate in peoples face (or suggesting they have their plumbing reorganized because some dimwit/terrorfilled puritan extremist thinks it's more Godly! Yes, it's nice to throw open the doors and WELCOME everyone at The Episcopal Church...cross ventilation in a mixed, and opinionated, crowd helps one breath more easily.

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Fred Schwartz said...

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