Taking responsibility, self-accountability and focusing on self honesty (with me and toward others) are the keys to operating more successfully in REALITY for me. Sometimes I do better than other times, but I always MUST avoid blaming/shaming others to make myself feel more whole, better, more honorable, more worthy, less desperate. Comparing to others creates a fake self-image/mental picture of myself.
Not having a passive mind and learning how to engage in saying NO, YES and MAYBE (and then changing my mind if I need to readjust my thinking/beliving) are essential living patterns for me...knowing I am responsible, not manipulative, unfairly demanding and/or codependent keeps me rightsized (and to a degree free of manipulating others with the use of pretend, wishful thinking, grandiosity or out right lies cleverly deliviered).
Pretending to have virtues I don't have but act/say that I do is dangerous for me and acting as if I do have personalmerits I don't have is a chronic mistake. I know what good virtue represents so I try NOT to represent it if I don't own it. Having good personal character is different than grandstanding, prancing/dancing around it in order for others to think I am a marvel of wisdom, talent and good. Portraying good character is unhealthy for me. Keeping my eye on reality, mine and other peoples, gives me the ability to live with greater joy, sometimes deep sorrow or even just live in the REAL world in a profoundly appreciative way and more modest way. It's my lot to face the challenges within me but I have trust that just being the authentic me is a huge gift and is enough. More will be revealed (and ought be) as I travel toward my 70th birthday next month.
Leonardo Ricardo/Leonard Clark
* Thanks to my friend Carolina at Santiago Atitlan for stimulating my self-searching this morning