Sep 24, 2014

¿Cómo está usted? : The importance of being Leonardo/Leonard and deciding the way to see *things* on a rainy afternoon

Here we are.  How are you?

¿Cómo está usted?

It's a pounding rain kind of afternoon at the foot of the Fuego volcano, Sacatepequez, Guatemala.  I have been bordering on very depressed all morning.  Things! Things in the real world of making deals, observing legal forms, seeking professional  help on a couple of business issues. I continue to do my best to contribute with rigorous and honest participation at most levels of life.  Sometimes it seems rocky, makeshift or impossible. Am I trying too hard?  Preguntas.

How can it be that almost everywhere I look there is ¨difficult¨ behavior being revealed these past days. Even manipulative, sometimes tiresome and now and then occupied with those who are less than straight-forward with me?  Is it always about them or am I not paying close enough attention to reality and what's what and what's not what?  Frustrated, or am I  unwilling to allow the world around me as it REALLY is to sink in?

Perhaps my ´basic decency¨ and inner most ¨common sense¨ making mechanism is overreacting again?  Well, maybe, maybe yes and maybe no.  I get tired of trying to do the right thing and getting struck/stuck by/in some/any kind of silly far-too-flawed-human embroglio? Big or little, size doesn't seem to matter. It's obviously a challenge for me to ¨get over¨ my hope that some kind of personal/lofty perfection will be least not in/around the overly-hopefilled me.  So, acceptance seems to be the key when nonsense, mine and other peoples, seems overwhelming.  Keeping in mind that it's not always about me. It REALLY isn't, it helps mucho and gives me cause for calm.

Then there is the good side of things. (and I want more, more, more my addictive nature whispers to me)

Good side of things do happen regularly.  How can I doubt the integrity of nature taking it's course properly around me? Life without my scorn happens in  a good-way?  It does. Often. I love the life I have been given.  I love the life I live in Guatemala in my ¨maturing¨ years.  I love running next door for hot corn tortillas (tres tiempos) and I love meeting my neighbors and being addressed as Don Leonardo and being respected in everyday kinds of polite and tiny ways.  A grin, a nod, a cheerful ¨Good Afternoon¨ from a barefoot/bronze-golden  ¨ancient old man¨  or ¨anciano¨ who is probably the same age as me.

I belong to the world around me and that is a very BIG deal. I've evolved as fitting in did happen over time.  I am assimilated into the slow, the friendly, the genuine touch of basic humanity as it presents itself around walks up to me, it waits for the bus in front of my house, it laughs with me when we are caught in the pouring rain and it understands, most of all, it, life at the foot of the volcano that nobody is PERFECT.  People, humans, fruits and vegtables are a big combination of  fresh, ripe, maturing and rotting/rotten...nature does have levels and a timeline.  Nature has integrity as it reveals all.

Sometimes I forget that everything and everyone is part of the mix of life progression and SHOULD be  (I don't get to choose who is worthy and who is not so gifted)..

Reality just takes some getting used to.

The rain stopped.

Leonardo Ricardo
Leonard Clark Beardsley

Sep 11, 2014

I REFUSE TO DIE FROM THE OLD MAN GRUMPY DISEASE: Saying no, letting go, ignoring bigots, avoiding blowhards, distancing oneself from self-righteous ignoramouses, greedsters and thieves! Smile!

I woke up in the middle of the night.  I just didn't sorta drift in and out of a deep sleep...I almost lurched bolt upright.  Thankfully I was covered with five (out of six) dogs that were sleeping in my room...the fan was whirling, the window open and all was well.  I felt immediately happier, just the presence of my dog friends does that for me.  I love dogs and I love human beings too (mostly, but reserve right of refusal) but I get VERY tired of the nonsense I encounter from some walking around REAL people who seem to have lost all touch with  reality/sanity.  Reality and its companion of common sense.  Grumble, grumble. Grumbling is what older people do?  I don't want to end up with a terminal case of the Grumpy Disease! I think it is cureable, vamos a ver.

I think common sense must be a dying personal quality/trait or you get more or less of it as you get older.  It is either that or I have been running into much in the way of out-of-control sociopaths, cutestriving opportunists, dodge and bobbers plus a few greedsters, a handfull (or more) grown ups whose Mommies must have told them they could have whatever it is they wanted (instead of accepting a more humbling ¨no¨ means ¨no¨ or live with  ¨maybe¨). Or, maybe their Mommies slapped ém around too mucho...and always said NO...who knows, not me!  My Mommie was sweet, pretty and wholesome as emotionally wholesome people can be.   Ask anyone in my family, I lucked out!

Throwback Thursday, Me and my Mom!

Anyway, after a short English/Spanish conversation with my dogs I decided to ¨let go¨ with the annoyance I felt for selective-humanity.   I think I am fine as long as I keep to my longstanding rule to behave myself, keep an keen eye on the sometimes overly-clever-in-me, and accept the often screwy behavior of others (as long as it doesn't HARM others or me - no playing pretend that IT doesn't or won't if it does/will) wasn't a bad dream afterall. I just had a middle-of-the-night spiritualike wake up spot-check-call that almost immediately turned into gratitude just for ¨being¨ alive, now and before now, and of gladness for having such a full-run-full-up-mostly-good in my life.   You see, I am just now 71 years old (it came upon me suddenly).  I have had a colorful/action/creative-packed life and I come from a loving family (who ate Roast Beef and Yorkshire Pudding every Sunday afternoon - proof if ever there was!). I have been loved deeply by friends and lovers who are/were dear to me/forever and I am loved still (in spite of creeping grumpiness disease). I LOVE, I love, I love those around me both living and not anymore (friends far away and some whom I have never met but thanks to the internet know quite well).

Thanks be to God (who I visualize to be a powerful force way beyond infinity)

I am one very fortunate olderdude who is very blessed and I know it!

Now, it's time to go down to my studio and paint!

Have a great day (be nice, and I will try and be nice too),

Leonardo RIcardo
(at the foot of the volcan de Fuego, Guatemala)  

Sep 2, 2014

THE TWISTED DANCE OF THE SELF-DECEIVER (righteousness on the run)

*Things*  often are not what they seem to be!

Here I am watching another version of the old human ¨hustle¨  again!  I am simultaneously observing the age old game of trying to believe that words have virtue when spewed out by those who make a special point of explaining their less-than-first-class self-righteous  religiouslike intentions.  It's the handywork of the christianlike religious zealot when carving a place for their quackery in society.  Won't we just SEE their LIGHT? Oh, but if only they could convince me and all the others of the ¨good¨ they do (like it or not) doubt my lunch would digest and my faith in human nature would be restored again...if only they were capable of being honest with themselves and us!

I learned a very long time ago what ¨good character¨ represents, so, I most often represent it.  I know,  it would be so much better for the world if Leonardo and everyone else just had ¨good character¨ to begin with, but, alas, no soap.  I know it would be much easier for you all to get filled up with glee thinking that I am nicer than I really am, but I won't deceive either you or me...the REAL and responsible thing is what I must be...a good start. Agreed? 

As I cautiously continue being the REAL me (mopping up as I go along) I have the opportunity to notice the REAL in you too as the months pass trudging my personal path of destiny. 

Currently, I  have spent a year+ observing a mittfull of first class sociopathic = relgious pretenders. A wonderous cluster of selfdeceivers preaching sermons featuring overly twisted earbenders meant to impress me and others with their self-proclaimed ¨spiritual¨ worth/worthiness (or a least keep us in silent wonder/mouth-dropped-open awe). Makes me carsick even without a car...such a mess they make when they pontificate! Please open the window and let the words/odor of these do/nothing dead-beats deplete.  Whew, makes my bellyache and my head pound when petty/righteous feckless are hanging around playing their own PRAISE SONG.  And they do, and they are...why won't they go away and NEVER come back another day?  Perhaps they will, even with fairly good mileage they OUGHT be running out of GAS soon! Hot air escapes and bloated egos go boom.

I am sure you must know who they are and I bet you have met a dozen or so of religious-chizzlers too...all cotton mouthed, less than prestine and not even really clean intentioned (no matter how they fuss about self-honesty). They promise to pray for you and even me too which I am not sure is a good thing! 

I am tired of greedy-grabby and whole-self-centered back stabbing religi-con-artistas for Christ.  I know many are emotionally sick but my compassion is running on low. I know I have little patience for the shifty, the unwholesome, the careless bullshitter around me...I know it's time to stop playing catch and/or trying to follow the bounce in their curve balls...praise the Lord but FOR GOD SAKE please do something about  selfcentered opportunists and their dangerous stupidity that no longer can be disguised as good-intentions...self will running riot, untreated emotional/spiritual illness  is especially offensive when displayed by those who claim alcoholic recovery while acting out insanely.

I'll take it! Leonardo Ricardo