May 21, 2011

God Smites Alert: I´m whining as loud as I can, but evildoers won´t leave me/us alone yet!

Prickly
What?

You mean ¨my case¨ ¨my situation¨ ¨my life experience¨ isn´t more important, more victimized, more ¨worthy¨ of kind consideration, justice, change and a well earned option to enjoy
REAL Righteousness?   Damn, I´ve worked sooo hard!  Do you know who I am?

Surely, I´m much more entitled to all-around pride, peace, well being and personal
integrity than you!  After all I´ve been through?  How dare YOU! I´m nice too!

Do you mean to tell me (or even just think) that radical inclusivity would cover all human beings (as in human rights)? All of God´s children under the sun and moon make the cut to stop being abused, tortured, discriminated against, persecuted, enslaved and  humiliated? Where do I sign?  Has our time come?

When?

Please spare me the ¨patience is a virtue¨ suggestion!  I want/deserve guarantees! Immediately!

Where?

Do you (you know who you are) intend to come here and tell me that I´m to shut the hell up, take my turn, do my best to be the best that God has created/gifted me to be?  Humbly ¨be¨ equal?  Learn how to be equal instead of trying so hard to be better than some of you?

Why?

Are you saying that it´s ok when I don´t succeed, or when I´m overwhelmed or simply powerless or plain screwed up, or miss Gods ¨point¨ entirely, to keep staying and praying as hard as I can to find my way out from under the everday stress and give my demands a rest?

I don´t have to keep steamrolling my way through this?  Must I give the dilletante in me a rest? No huffing or puffing or trying to knock the evildoers down?  Surrender myself to ¨Father/Mother knows best?¨  God only knows?

Do you mean to tell me the authentic in me is not more deserving than the authentic YOU? Who are you to say such a thing to me?

Heck, I´m a persecuted Homosexual and you´re ¨Straight¨ or ¨Cuter¨ or ¨Smarter¨ or more ¨Savvy¨ or maybe even a happy Lesbian and/or a well-adjusted Transgender or even, just possibly, a double featured ¨wealthier¨  Bi sexualist!

Who?

I´m exhausted from thinking that you ought think I am different than I really am.
I´ll give up.  I´m not as strong or as smart or as talented or heroic as I thought I was. I´ll just be slightly pissed off and go back to being the regular, everyday, me (and watch my back).

Rightsized at last-- who would have guessed that I´m much like the rest of YOU?  Not me (are we/you certain about that?).

Amazing when you get down to it-- radical inclusivity is pretty darn radical and it has very little to do with me thinking that I´m more deserving because of what I´ve been through (let the high-pitched self-pity-whining begin) than the YOU sitting next to me. I´d appreciate it if you´d stop squirming...I will if you will and please don´t leave teeth marks on my neck anymore and please try to leave all the beloved alone...stop being mean, God smites the mean (I know, I´ve been smacked a couple of times before).

Lord hear my prayer

2 comments:

motheramelia said...

Radical inclusivity IS pretty radical. I once told a boss that when women were allowed to be as mediocre as some men, then gender equality would really have happened. The really talented, "special" ones do ok, but what about the rest? When we can all (LGBT and straight) be "regular, everyday" and not worry about being special, then I think the Lord will have heard my prayer.

Leonardo Ricardo said...

Thanks Mother Amelia-- thank you for sharing this-- it´s taken me a day to figure out that yes, in fact, being ¨rightsized¨ often includes just being another guy--another participant in life-- sometimes brighter often not so much (and that´s just fine).