GAY IN UGANDA/PART TWO: ¨Once self-accepting, I no longer felt the need to deceive others, myself included. I played the kuchu field, finding, wonder of wonders, that there were others who were like me...¨

¨We are kuchus, all of us, gay and transgender Ugandans¨

What does it mean to be gay in Uganda?

¨It is a tough question because I have never known a different life. I am a gay man, born in Uganda, an African. It is all that I have known; it is my identity. I am African, a Ugandan, and I am gay, my secret identity—the one that has to be hidden from the rest of my countrymen.

¨We call ourselves kuchus, a neutral, all inclusive word¨

We call ourselves kuchus, a neutral, all inclusive word. It is an identity that is ours, separate from the vileness and abuse thrown at us. We are kuchus, all of us, gay and transgender Ugandans, although life tends to be harder for my transgender friends.

Measures of Acceptance

My friends got married, and started having kids. And I played the field, hoping against hope that a change within me would occur. Others had gone and done so, accepted themselves for what they are or what society says they should be, and gotten married, according to the dictates of their surroundings.

Not for me.

I came out to myself, late. Delirious acceptance, of what I was, of the fact that I was not going to change. But I came to an impasse, too. What to do with the rest of my life, which had changed from that moment of self-acceptance? I stopped sleeping with women. Once self-accepting, I no longer felt the need to deceive others, myself included. I played the kuchu field, finding, wonder of wonders, that there were others who were like me. Very much like me, with the same feelings, hidden, with the same impulses. And, we were willing to share with each other our bodies, liberally.

¨I wanted and yearned for something more: love, the companionship and commitment of a life mate.¨

But, something was missing. I wanted and yearned for something more: love, the companionship and commitment of a life mate. When I first broached this subject with some kuchu friends, I was laughed off. Kuchus, I was informed, do not make commitments, because if did, how would you hide? Impossible! Out of necessity, ours was a life of deceit.

But I did meet someone. We fell in love and have been together now for ten incredible years! Gay, Ugandan, and partnered in Uganda!

¨Being in love with the man that completed me was something which helped tremendously¨

The years of self-deception fell off with maturity. Then came the years of active hiding, morphing into one another. Being in love with the man that completed me was something which helped tremendously. Holding him in my arms, making love, it was something which was so beautiful; our togetherness negated all the things that were supposedly bad. I couldn't imagine our love being ugly, bad, unblessed. Yes, I had lost my faith, because I was unable to reconcile what I was told with what I was. If I was a sinner, it seemed fit to sin without the guilt.

We hid, and continue to hide right out in the light. But, our invisibility cloak started thinning with the time that we spent together, the notice we drew to ourselves by not having the companionship of the opposite sex. Not even for show. Of course, the rumors began to seep out of the closet.

But nothing was as decisive as the decision to become active in changing our world...¨ please read it all, HERE

GROWING UP GAY IN UGANDA/PART ONE:  HERE

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·  Thanks to The Mantle, A Forum for Progressive Critique

GAY UGANDA/PART ONE: What is it like to grow up gay in Uganda?

It is hard.

¨The first inklings of difference: When one realizes and suppresses the surprising reactions to one’s peers. When one joins in in the raucous, very ordinary conversations of horny teenagers and must hide his own puzzlement at not being similarly aroused; instead, I was increasingly fascinated by bodies so similar to my own.

It was a time of immense conflict, for me, those teen years. I fled to religion, finding comfort in the teaching that sex and sexual feelings were something vaguely “not good.” But I couldn't deny my feelings. Nor could my developing intellect be denied in jumping to its own conclusions about my feelings.

Realizing that I was different, I instinctively chose to hide, but at the same time I was driven to devour all information about myself and these feelings within me. But the first problem was that there was hardly any information available. The old books I scoured in the school libraries hardly mentioned what being gay actually meant for an individual.

And, at the same time, there was much that I could hear from the mouths of my peers and elders. Homosexuality, it was called, this feeling of excitement and longing for the touch of another guy. It was condemned in the Bible, which was one of the few volumes daring to even mention the subject. And, was there any other interpretation than the literal one? The church, the preachers—they mentioned homosexuality only to condemn it. Decisively. Unambiguously.

I could remain celibate, play at being sexless, bury myself in my books which I loved, and pursue a career that I found challenging. But I discovered that I couldn't hide myself from my own thoughts and desires.

I simply could not be gay—it was not an option. I was an African man. I had to fall in love with a woman. I had to have children in order to make my father proud and to build a stronger clan. I had to have heirs because my dad had already designated me as his heir. Being one of the dreaded homosexuals, or homos, as we are derisively termed in popular speech, was impossible...

For some time, I lived in secret; it was so easy to hide. The camouflage is perfect because so few Ugandans can even conceive that the person next to them, a classmate, a work colleague, a relative, a clan-mate, would ever dare to be a homo. We are invisible, and we gladly embrace that cloak.

But, the hypocrisy was not to be—not for me...¨ please read it all HERE

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·  Thanks to The Mantle, forum for progressive critique

GAY UGANDA: ¨I strongly believe in a person´s right to define their faith¨

¨...I choose to think that religion doesnt define my humanity. And, I choose not to choose any of the labels. But they are very important to us as human beings.

Because I say that, some point at me and say this is an anti-Christian blog. (Uh, that was Ssempa, you guessed.)

But, I strongly believe in a person's right to define their faith. I will not proselytize my lack of faith. And, I will look on in bemusement if anyone tries to proselytize me. Might make for an interesting conversation.

And, I will also stand for the right of a gay African to have a faith life.
Some believe that since we are gay, we cant be Christian, or Muslim, or whatever religion. I think they err. And, though I am none of those, I believe that a gay Ugandan, a gay African is also a human being. They, and we have the same right to religion as all other human beings.
Yes, I might have a problem with the logics of reconciling the faiths. But then, why do we call them faiths? Because they are faiths.

Even when others use their faith to hit out at us, demonise us, call us anti-Christ, kaffirs, anti-God, etc, just because we have a different sexuality, I still stand and say that we are human beings. And, a gay human being can be a Christian. And, can be a Moslem.

Anglican Archbishop Orombi, ¨denies the humanity¨ of LGBTI Christians/others in Uganda

And, I may actually find the words to debate one who says I cant be a Christian (or Moslem) and gay at the same time. Because that person is denying my humanity. That is my convoluted thinking.

I would really love it if religious people would stop defining their religiousness with anti-gay rhetoric.

Anglican Ugandan Bishop Christopher Ssenyonjo, spiritual counselor to LGBTI Ugandans, featured speaker, the Center for Democratic Progress, Washington D.C. , 2010

I mean, in Uganda, Ssempa is the epitome of a Christian. Because of his anti-gay rhetoric, which is considered the very spirit and soul of Christianity. The Anglicans in Uganda.... well, it is all the same. That is why they excommunicated Bishop Ssenyonjo. He was not anti-gay enough. In fact, he was pro-gay.

I know. For the Catholics, it is the contraception thing, but the anti-gay thing also comes in.

Member of Parliament, Anglican David Bahati, author of the ¨Kill the Gay¨ Bill

Bahati... well. He says that it is his heartfelt wish to pass the 'Kill the Gay' bill. Make it law. Of course, for him it is defining something called the family, or traditional family. And, he still has hopes of it becoming law.

So, what is true religiousness? Why does my sexuality have to be used to define spirituality?
I have no answers for you. The only ones I have are for me, thank you.¨ read it all, Gay Uganda HERE

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· Thanks to Anglican Bishop Christopher Ssenyanjo, Uganda
· Thanks to Archbishop Desmond Tutu
· Thanks to Flickr Photosharing, Naked and Open
· Thanks to Allan Rich