|Beyond Ex-Gay: ¨It has been 2 years since I started dating exclusively women¨|
|¨One of my prized possessions is a pair of sexy, slick, black stiletto-heeled boots. Very femme-fatale.¨|
¨As I type this up, I’m wearing a t-shirt pulled over a workman’s blue shirt, pop-collared, and my favorite pair of ripped blue jeans held up with a tattered cloth belt. Not exactly a model for femininity.
I speak English with the faintest hint of an accent.
I live frugally, probably a habit learned from my hard-working, white to blue collar parents, who immigrated here over 18 years ago. When we first got here, the Chinese evangelical Christian community opened its arms and welcomed my family into its folds. I grew up feeling loved, cared for, and have a lot of respect for the men and women who gave up literally everything, so that their kids could grow up in Canada. To my people, Canada is freedom from political oppression and post-secondary education opportunities for future generations.
I have heard my dad cry twice. One of them was as he told me over the phone, that he loved me; that even though work is so hard and people treat him so bad, that it is all worth it because I am working towards my PhD in Chemical Engineering; that he is tremendously proud of me. My mother and I use to have touching mother-daughter talks about men. Over dinner prep, mother and I have dissected the personalities of many of my guy friends, to help me find a good match. My mother has also gently explained to me what my future husband will expect from me.
It has been 2 years since I came out to my family. They still love me very much. My parents and I don’t talk about my love life anymore.
It has been 4.5 years since I admitted to myself my childhood crushes on women have stayed with me into adulthood. It has been 2 years since I started dating exclusively women. I finally understand why abstinence can be such a difficult decision. In between coming out and dating, I chose to live as an “ex-gay”.
An ex-gay is someone — usually Christian — who believes that non-hetero sexual orientations and behavior are unnatural, sinful and require change. An ex-gay usually believes that a gay identity can be eradicated if one strived to understand, through ex-gay therapy, where one ‘went wrong’ in their sexual development as a child...¨ please read it all, HERE
· Thanks to Peggy
· Thanks to Beyond Ex-Gay, sidebar, HERE
· Thanks to Flickr Photo Sharing