¨Words are strange. Exodus refers to a “coming out” leaving the desert experience behind. Of course, “they” would view that as leaving homosexuality and coming into the promised land of heterosexuality.¨
|Darlene Bogle |
¨My Exodus from Exodus¨
I was devastated, went for counseling for the next few years to deal with my own journey of sexual abuse and the brokenness of my wounded and crumpled spirit.
For several years I lived a yo-yo experience of being in church or being in the gay bars. Both lives had degrees of rejection for the other. In l977 I determined to return to an active relationship with the Lord and leave my gay friends and longings behind. I finished my degree, and became a licensed minister with the Foursquare church. I started writing articles, speaking in Churches, and working on a book of my journey. In 1985, Long Road to Love was published and was followed in 1990 by Strangers in a Christian Land.
I was involved with Exodus International by this time because they were the only group offering support of Ex-gay folks. That is what I thought I was, because I was not involved with women. I soon formed a ministry called Paraklete, in Hayward, California. We were an Exodus referral ministry. I began to speak at Exodus conferences, teach nationally, and was on several TV programs such as Jerry Springer, Sally Jessie Raphael, CBS 48 hours, the 700 club and many local television shows.
I held a full time job as an Insurance Underwriter and was assistant pastor of my church. I directed the ministry, wrote and spoke at conferences or churches at every opportunity. I KNEW I was ex-gay because I any longer felt attraction for women. Of course, I had no attraction for men either, and in fact, I was pretty much a non-feeling person. I knew that sexual behavior could be changed, because I had changed my own behavior for several years. I preached that sexual orientation was a choice also, and for that, I NOW APOLOGIZE!
In 1988, Exodus LA (the Exodus conference in Los Angeles) had a picture taken with about 200 attendees. The Title across the photo was: Can Homosexuals change? We did. Now, as I look at this poster, more than half of the people in the photo are no longer in ex-gay ministry or involved in the Church. Their orientation wasn’t really changed, and neither was mine! We wanted to change behavior that we were told would separate us from a loving God. We were never told that we had an option, that God would still love us as Gay and Lesbian people. What grieves me is that so many have left the church because they believed that lie. I have come to believe that God not only accepts us but wants to bless our relationship with our same-sex partner...¨ please read it all, HERE
· Thanks to Darlene Bogle
· Thanks to Beyond Ex-Gay, sidebar
· Thanks to Survivor Narrative