Over the past few years I´ve noticed a change growing from within. At first I thought I was just getting older, maybe even wiser, but certainly a lot more outspoken/critical in the way I view and deal with people, places and things around me...people, places and things that I´ve experienced to be both good and bad according to my own experience...ah, the experience of making many choices I´ve made over the years...they we´re mostly dependent on much review/rechecking facts, feelings and instincts but that didn´t always lead to sensible decisions as I often overthought-out myself as I tried to control outcomes instead of just using my good senses and letting life flow more naturally.
I´ve always been on overload with sensitivies and I spent years in my youth being defensive and trying to protect my ¨being¨...quite often I distorted reality in order to cover myself with seeming good rationale. My really good ¨feelings¨ haven´t always been reliable/valid or even close to always determining the actual ¨situation¨ happening around me even though I´m very perceptive, I do have a vivid imagination that can fog reality up....and then there is overly-wishful thinking.
For over thirty years now I´ve kept a closer eye on me, my emotions, my sensitivities and done quite a lot of regular everyday self-searching while trying to see ¨all sides¨ instead of focusing so much on quick perceptions...I´ve tried to relax a bit, do some deep breathing/thinking and be more understanding, wise, tolerant and patient...I´ve let much of the fear go along the way, and I can see better.
HONORING WISE FEELINGS
I´m going back to relying more on my feelings again. I´ve got loads of common sense and a somewhat uncany practical ability to ¨hit the nail on the head¨ ...I´m returning to honoring my feelings in all my affairs--let the chips fall where they may--I´m no longer willing to play ¨let´s make a deal¨ or ¨peek a boo¨ with myself or anyone else.
Outcomes will be what they will and I trust that I won´t insist or demand anything that ought not be reasonable in life but I won´t be turning my head away from blatant nonsense that crosses my path.
I feel better already.
I´ve discussed this with a longtime wise and trusted friend last night (who also is a experienced psychologist). It´s clear I´ve reached a different level of maturity in these past years and this is the last time I intend to explain myself or overly analyze my perfectly good, throughly evaluated, sense of fair-play instincts...actions will now speak much louder than words (or endless evaluating)...I´ll clean any mistakes along the way.
Love to all,
· Thanks to Flickr Photo Sharing
· Thanks to My Friend Tom
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