Oct 6, 2010

AMONGST THE WORST MISTAKES FOR LGBT CHRISTIAN ADULTS: ...is to be inauthentic so that we can win others' approval, and be accepted, knowing "acceptance" is contingent upon that inauthenticity


¨When one is both filled with self-loathing, and when one wants to be accepted, and when one wants friends and allies, it is disconcerting, to say the least, to risk realizing that their "friends" and their "acceptance" are contingent upon LGBT people "keeping and knowing their place."

Seeking ¨friends and allies¨ for ¨acceptance¨
So, the choice comes between adhering to the status quo where LGBT people remain second class citizens, deprived of full and equal civil and sacramental rights and are "allowed" to be conditionally accepted and used on those terms, OR insist on being treated as everyone else with all the rights and privileges accorded others and know that their "friends'" gloves will come off and they will betray their true colors and turn on them, thereby profoundly hurting them emotionally, and have that hurt culminate in their being prevented from engaging in those ministries to which they have been called in the church; being similarly betrayed and emotionally, if not physically, hurt in secular society by many who either don't go to church or who do go to church who discriminate against LGBT people, even to the point of violence, all the while thinking that they are doing God a favor by so doing.

God only knows what the Archbishop of Canterbury has said to the Pope!

One of the worst mistakes we can make is to be inauthentic so that we can win others' approval, and be accepted, fully knowing that that "acceptance" is contingent upon that inauthenticity, even carrying that inauthenticity to the point where many Gay people have not only internalized homophobia but externalize that homophobia so that they demonize and condemn others who dare to assert their right to sit at the same table, partaking of the same food, as everyone else.¨  by The Reverend Dr. Jerry Maneker HERE

·Thanks to The Reverend Dr. Jerry Maneker
·Thanks to A Christian Voice of LGBT People, sidebar
      ·Thanks to Flickr Photo Sharing

3 comments:

Tim said...

Leonardo, WOW! So spot-on and so timely.

The question of authenticity rings through everything we do, but at this time in LGBT history, authenticity of person and faith are crucial. And it calls for some real tough decisions on our part. Once we make them, we must stick to them.

In my case, I could no longer ally myself with a homophobic communion, not necessarily because it affected me personally; I had outgrown their dogma long ago. But I couldn't fund and support the harm they did to others with less solid upbringing and assurance of their faith. So I left, to find a communion that not only tolerated me; it welcomed me. There are many, many things I loved in my old faith community that I can't find in my new one. But sacrificing authenticity of self to hang onto them wasn't an option for me.

On the other hand, I have many, many gay (and gay-supportive) friends whose authenticity is so inextricably linked to their faith traditions, they cannot leave, despite the downside. And I must respect them for their honesty.

My prayer is that the day will come when the exiles will be called home and the hostages at home will be freed. Meanwhile, each of us must do the best we can and pray for grace to lead the way to a time when the Body will no longer be divided about its LGBT children.

Blessings, and thank you for this!
Tim

Leonardo Ricardo said...

Greetings Tim, nice to see you and hope your book sales are going well.

It´s always a temptation and sometimes even necessary to ¨pass¨ and not allow the world around us to know us, it can be a matter of personal security and most of us know the danger signs lurking in everyday life...in a hostile, to LGBT people, environment WE are often dealing with blind rage, superstition, lies and plain fear/loathing and hate...all of those forces are difficult to deal with much less figure out how to cope with in society...silence is sometimes the ONLY OPTION when life vs. death or abusive alternatives are presented before us...I don´t think ones inauthenticity is always a reflection of intentional deceit but I do think our ¨insides¨ must remain clear on who we are...not allowing our personal character to be tainted by outside/twisted understandings of WHO and WHAT we represent is essential as we try and be self-accountable and self-accepting for our own peace of mind and in our extended families...afterall there is little hope of real happiness if one lives are under the threat of intimidation and bullying by others if we accept their ignorance and emotional instability as ¨just¨ and ¨true¨...life is tough enough without becoming a willing victim of other peoples prejudices and mental illness by accepting nonsense as valid judgements against us. Learning HOW to deal with outside negative pressure against us is as key as learning how to accept the authentic and positive versions of ourselves that God created along with, side by side, our heterosexual brothers and sisters...my opinion only.

Göran Koch-Swahne said...

Amen, dear Brother!