ABUSIVE DELUSIONAL ALERT: Unfit Emotional and Spiritual Leadership at The Anglican Communion?

DELUSIONS/DELUSIONAL?


MEANING: A person who is out of touch with reality or cannot seem to make real world connections between his/her actions and the actual consequences.*

PASSIVE/AGGRESSIVE?


MEANING: Originally a military term, it refers to people who appear to comply yet are actually undermining what they seem to be doing. It has been listed as a personality disorder (PD) in its extreme form.

MANIPULATE?


MEANING: To engineer a person to do what you want without appearing to do so.

Note: This is certainly one of the 'bad' words in psychology and yet I believe all of us manipulates at some point. There are certainly degrees of manipulation, some being more transparent and acceptable, some being more hidden and sinister.

CODEPENDENT?


MEANING: In traditional psycho-babble, the person who allows the abuser to continue and live with his/her behavior. This person is often seen as one who asks to be abused or who is a willing victim.


NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER (NPD)?


MEANING: A personality disorder (PD) recognized by the American Psychiatric Association. While the narcissistic person is self centered and has a grandiose sense of him/herself, he/she only lives through the reflection of him/herself in others (like Narcissus seeing his reflection). At the core these people don't have a complete sense of self.

BALANCE?


MEANING: Emotional stability, equilibrium.

SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED?


MEANING: Egotism, self-serving, self-absorbed

UNSTABLE PERSONALITY?


MEANING: While there is an 'emotionally unstable personality disorder', the general use of this term has not been clinically defined, yet it is used a lot in common speech. It refers to personalities that can be any combination of the following: unpredictable, unreliable, impulsive, unable to understand the consequences of their actions, argumentative and explosive.

IDENTITY?


MEANING: This is a critical term in the understanding of abuse. Everyone knows what identity is, but it is very hard to pin down. Identity is your sense of self: who you believe you are, how you think of yourself, your self-image that you have over time. Identity often involves gender, values, and roles such as wife or husband, father or mother, son or daughter, along with career, skills and accomplishments.

*RELEVANCE TO ABUSE--IDENTITY: Establishing your identity independent of others is crucial to freeing yourself from abuse. When you are sure of yourself, abusers will have a hard time 'pushing your buttons'. Problems arise when your identity gets muddled. Abusers can get you to believe in the abusers' definition of identity. Who you are then becomes who the abuser says you are. If you believe the abuser, he or she now has control over your identity to a certain extent. This makes you vulnerable to the abusers' manipulations. However, you can free yourself by taking control of your own identity. Then you do not try to meet the expectations of the abuser. This is not easy or painless. Removing oneself, creating personal distance and establishing boundaries can be quite difficult.

*RELEVANCE TO ABUSE--TRAUMA, TRAUMATIC: Many personality disorders can be traced back to traumas. The psychology of the 20th century was full of these tales such as the movie, "The Three Faces of Eve," in which the woman's personality split due to a trauma in early childhood. Some personality disorders such as the Dissociative Identity Disorder (DID) are almost always linked to early traumas.

*RELEVANCE TO ABUSE--UNSTABLE PERSONALITY: Many abusive people are also unstable: one day they are all sunshine and light, the next storms and darkness. Sometimes their moods can change within minutes or hours for no particular reason. Often dismissed as moody, such people need to seek therapy while also dealing with their abusive behavior

*RELEVANCE TO ABUSE--SELFISH, SELF-CENTERED: Abusers tend to be quite selfish. They are concerned with getting their needs met and not meeting the needs of the people they abuse.

*RELEVANCE TO ABUSE--BALANCE: Balance is critical to mental health. Recognizing and dealing with abuse means that the abused are trying to restore balance both to a relationship and also within themselves.

*RELEVANCE TO ABUSE--NARCISSISTIC PERSONALITY DISORDER: Many experts feel that this personality disorder is at the heart of much abusive behavior.

*RELEVANCE TO ABUSE--MANIPULATE: In general terms abusers manipulate the abused to get what they want. This is how abuse works. There are a myriad number of ways to manipulate.

*RELEVANCE TO ABUSE--PASSIVE AGGRESSIVE: The most difficult abuse is passive-aggressive. It's like chasing shadows. These people will always deny that they meant anything sinister.

*RELEVANCE TO ABUSE--DELUSIONAL: Many abusive people are delusional. They lie, for example, or make stuff up or decide you said something you did not say (see filter, filtering). They often believe their own lies!

· Thanks to Abuse Terms PLUS
· Thanks to Explantions of Emotional, Physical, Intellectual, Social, Sexual, and Spiritual Abusive Behavior
· Thanks to Flickr Photo Sharing

TAKE ACTION AGAINST BIGOTRY, IGNORANCE and OUTCASTING/SOCIAL ISOLATION: The ANGLICAN UN, United Nations, HUMAN RIGHTS Observer, Mrs Hellen Grace Wangusa from Uganda, has an office and staff provided by the Episcopal Church (USA) at the Church Center 815 Second Avenue, New York, 10017. The direct office line is (001) 212-716- 6263 and the email address unoffice@episcopalchurch.org


Lionel Deimel, Anglican HERO, click HERE,¨No Anglican Covenant¨