THE OTHERSIDE OF THE VOLCANO, Chapter 36, A Pat On The Back

 I PROMISED MYSELF THAT I WOULD TELL THE TRUTH (even when truth is a little uncomfortable for the fragile core of it that is left buzzing around my ego) I have spent a lifetime trying to enhance and deflate my ego...depending what I can get away with without screaming the insanity-of-it-all out loud! Thankfully there has rarely been a audience to turn me in to the appropriate professionals who specialize in emotional disorders...dogs don't know how to use fancy telephones for emergency calls.  Better I keep to selfsearching which is a AA recovery step that I do very well/often...a everyday job for over four decades. 

COULD THIS BE TRUE TOO? I am now almost a month into being a 80 year old, very single, Gay older man who plays with my dogs while gasping and grasping the remainder of my life...at least as I know life but I did die once at Cedars-Sinai Medical Center during a sloppy little operation that the surgeon messed up and carved away on me forgetting about the deadening of my physical body part....off, off away I went, turned blue, convulsed, dead died and then, later, the swat team of revivers saved my young life...afterall, I was in my thirties and certainly not ready for the BIGGEST of beyonds....clearly there were more hoops to jump through, fish to fry, betrayls to shock me, tragedies to face and heart throbs to attempt to have throb back at me.  Interesting, the surgeon took out the stitches a few days later and blamed me for dying....me, who after the operation had to have TWO heart specialists try and find out if there was anything WRONG with my HEART....really, there was nothing wrong until Dr. WWII slashed away on me como es.   I knew you'd want to know how horrid the experience was for me...no wonder Lucille Ball died at Cedars Sinai soon after me (they couldn't revive her).  Time to go back to bed and sleep away some of my memories of being dead (there are some, I'll tell you another time).

To be continued

Leonardo, Leonard, Len, Lenny and sometimes Leo

THE OTHERSIDE OF THE VOLCANO - Chapter 35, Kindness Received

IN BED,  my night mind wanders.

Natural and kind acts by others in my life, for me or to me, are gentle memories that touch me like quiet bliss tonight.  

Sometimes I unintentionally reflect on times and events forgotten.  Mostly random reflections but sometimes following a line of my life experience that I may be dwelling on.. 

Remembering the happy, the sweet, the sensual, the gainfully rewarding and/or memories of minor successes or breathless encounters of a intimate type. Very kind embraceable experiences with people I did, or didn't, see again.

I reach back in my mind to remember the thousands of kindnesses that came/come, and often keep coming my way.

I don't want to forget any kind gift from a friend or stranger in my lifetime.  I hope to remember more, even the little kindnesses.  I will not take any new kindness offering lightly. 

Kindness is love. I ought be able to remember to give what I have received..

Thank you

Un gran abrazo, Good Night

Leonard, Leonardo, Lenny, Len and sometimes Leo

to be continued

THE OTHERSIDE OF THE VOLCANO - Newsworthy or not, Chapter 34, Happy New Year 2023

 

Greetings my friends.  It suddenly occured to me that I have NOT  visited YOU and my blog for quite some time...I have lots of local, and personal, news to share....ready or not?

I am now 79 (and one half) years old.  I still, like many other grandes, am totally surprised at how 79 years passed by so quickly...just when I was getting the hang of being a little quiet, well, BANG I plopped down again in the FRONT ROW of my life.  Again I am reminded of my former (heavily visited) SHRINK, Dr. Jean U, who told me - You will like reality, it just takes some getting used to - ...the very idea seemed to startle and offend, ME ... but I survived her, her message, and myself and paid attention to the greater specific wisdom of it all.  OPEN YOUR EYES, Leonardo!

REALITY!  REALLY?

Yes, there seems to be no way of dodging it/reality.  I no longer drink my way out of and around it since the 13th of December 1978!  That is 44 years of edging closer and closer to my seat in front row of life. I may not have missed many POPULAR/SHALLOW features in the smoke filled balcony of life for my first 35 years (I did see/catch a glimpse of quite a few colorful shorts and many THRILLERS) however both sober and not so much sober I was mostly in the dark.   NOW, I love reality, mostly, even the hard part seems to be helpful in my color saturated world of accepting and not pretending THINGS are different than they really are.  DENIAL is extra multi purpose but it can be painful (reminds me I maybe want to go on a diet) in the long run of life. Best to stay in the right NOW? 

My reality remains riveted on the life around me in a/this small pueblo in Guatemala.  It is the most fascinating and rewarding part of my very fortunate adventerous/longlike trip!  The people here are kind, very hard working and are respectful to me,..me, a older/single Gringo.  It is a truth of how much love I feel from my fellow artists and friends and some neighbors too...NOTE/REMEMBER how polite/welcoming Guatemalans are to me, a foreigner in their midst.  When you meet a CHAPIN in the good old U.S.A.,please  be kind to them., reality just takes some getting used to,and los Chapins are a happy and loving group of human beings gifted with lots of brilliant cultural background and lots of natural tenacity.

Leonardo at the foot of the volcano

to be continued