May 13, 2012

HAPPY MOTHERS DAY: ¨...what makes someone a misogynist, and am I one?

Recently a Lesbian, not-so-much-a-friend-as-a-remote-acquaintance, suggested to me that ¨Gay¨ men actually treated women with less respect than their/her due. I was flabbergasted and looked throughout the web for ANY information to back up such a, to me, unfair, blusterous and insulting claim.  There was/is none, zip, empty, void, zero. Today I found this ¨commentary¨ at Bilerico Project and it´s the closest thing I ´ve found on the subject of Gay Misogynist´s linked below but I especially identified with this part: ¨...if a friend were to call me out for perceived misogyny, I would no doubt listen, for I have found that I become a better person from examining my failings.¨ I´ve listened, I´m still listening and willing and able to listen. However,  I still think ¨Gay¨ men and our respect, admiration and in most cases great trust and friendships with women is the standard amongst us...that basic warmth and natural acceptance of *others* is most often present in our friendships with Lesbians, Bisexual women and Heterosexual women too. Leonardo Ricardo

Of Mother's Day and Misogyny

By Kergan Edwards-Stout

¨...When I contemplate the word "misogyny," I think of anger, hatred, and dislike, which doesn't remotely correspond with my feelings. And when I think of "women," no negative connotations arise, either. Still, if a friend were to call me out for perceived misogyny, I would no doubt listen, for I have found that I become a better person from examining my failings.

Kergan Edwards-Stout,   Songs for the New Depression  HERE
With a creative work, however, linking artist to art can be tenuous at best. In my novel, each and every word Gabriel utters, whether towards women or men, was carefully chosen for effect; sometimes for humor, sometimes for pathos, and other times to offend. It is his nature to live life unfiltered, but for me, I long ago learned the perils of such behavior, and work rigorously to examine my insecurities and feelings in an ongoing attempt to better myself.

While I'm not convinced that I am, indeed, misogynistic, I'm leaving the door open to that possibility, for the best way I can think of to demonstrate my respect for women is to live authentically, treat others honorably, with my eyes open to opportunities in which I can improve myself, those around me, and the greater world at large...¨ please read it all, HERE (emphasis added)

Happy Mother's Day.

·  Thanks to The Bilerico Project, sidebar
·  Thanks to Kergan Edwards-Stout
·  Thanks to Songs for the New Depression, HERE

Happy Mothers Day to my Mother,  Ardythe Beardsley Clark, R.I.P.
¨A beautiful person in every way¨
Gardenias, Mom´s favorite flower


motheramelia said...

I could not imagine you being a misogenist. Your mother had great taste in flowers.

Leonardo Ricardo said...

That´s probably why I´m not a Mother had great taste period! Thanks for the kind words Mother Amelia, I´ve been stewing about the above ¨slam¨ for weeks and finally found a way to look at it...I think it´s a reflection all right, but not a reflection on me.

JCF said...

I think gay men are probably less misogynist, on average, than straight men...

...but they're also probably more EXPRESSIVE, generally, than straight men.

At a website like Joe.My.God., I tire of how *universally* a woman (usually a woman who has done/said something homophobic) is described as a "cunt".

By all means, call out a woman for her homophobia.

But I have a visceral reaction to the "C word". It's taking something beautiful (and delicious!), the vagina, and turning it into an obscenity. It's saying that a human body part which gay men themselves aren't attracted to is, objectively, something disgusting (same w/ "fish" allusions).

This is an issue---yes, the issue is misogyny---that gay men will have to work on among themselves. I hope, Leonardo, you will be part of the solution! :-)

[Lecture concluded]

Leonardo Ricardo said...

Dear JCF,

Of course. I´ve gone to J.M.G. and read the slurs against heterosexual abusers of LGBT people...male, female (and I add to them sometimes with my own anger however you´ve never EVER seen me use the ¨c¨ word...matter of fact, I think I´m more inclined to treat abusers of LGBT people as hard as I can by exposing them with stories of their actual behavior (my blog reflects years of daily headlining of vile human acts by demented human beings, who lead whole churches/governments against people like us and are, in my opinion, accomplices to generating grave emotional, spiritual and physical injury against people like us. However, that´s NOT what I´ve written about...a Lesbian not-so-friend speaks as if she KNOWS that ¨Gay¨ men are MORE prejudiced against women than Heterosexual men...she thinks it´s one of the last obstacles in the campaign for Womens Rights (said so)...I think she is making up a position for herself to stand tall (or for anything to defend ¨women¨) amongst her peers to appear heroic ...a defender of women, a champ, a wiseone, a parrot squawking codependent zeal by putting/talking down others (to feel better about herself). That´s what I think...anyway, she quotes no reasoning other than simply dumping what she ¨thinks¨ and running back into the comfy world of her own anger, fear and demeaning of others...irresponsible behavior and not unlike those who grandstand by defending their very own aggressiveness by becoming the injured party...bull crap!