By Dr. James E. Walton, Ph.D.
¨When we are feeling angry with our partner, the fastest way to release that anger and regain a loving attitude towards them is to do a simple act of giving. Just by doing something nice for them, we focus our attention off of the obsessive quality of our anger and refocus into the loving feelings we have for them. The act itself is a release that allows us to feel a greater sense of purpose in our chosen relationship.
Giving in general, such as simply opening a door for someone, allows us to regain a sense of missing personal empowerment. We may not be able to completely control our environment, and we certainly cannot control another’s actions, but we can control whether or not we do something nice for another person. And in doing so, we reconnect with that sense of personal power that has been eluding us.
No matter what spiritual beliefs you may hold; giving, and its inseparable partner receiving, were the first acts of creation in of our world. It was the original experience. And for a moment, it was the only experience. From that simple act, all of life sprang forth. Whether you believe it was God or some other cosmic force, we were the receivers of the gift of life. As a result, it is the most basic and purist experience that reflects back upon our very beginning of existence. Through it, we can honor and expand its meaning and presence in our lives. It’s quite a powerful little tool we carry in our psychological back pocket.
Depression - When individuals are depressed, they are focused inward on themselves. They can become lost focusing internally on themselves. Sometimes, we aren’t able to see alternative solutions because we have limited ourselves to running over and over an internal and unchanging landscape that offers no way out. There is nothing in there to offer a different perspective. It becomes self-reinforcing and we spiral further and further into our sense of despair and loneliness.
Giving to another, then, becomes an effective and powerful way of bringing ourselves out of depression’s grasp. In depression, we are fooled into thinking that we are alone. The simple act of giving breaks us out of that framework and challenges the misguided perception that we are alone. In the very act of giving, we are challenged to acknowledge that we are not alone. That in and of itself gets us out of the way we had been thinking. We start looking outside of ourselves. Giving challenges us to acknowledge we are not alone. That realization becomes the first step in the recovery and healing of depression.
Simply volunteering somewhere will allow you to tap into the power of giving. And as you do, do not neglect your very important role as the receiver. This kind of healing requires both giving and receiving. Allow yourself to accept and fully enjoy the good feelings that come from giving & receiving. For, if one only gives without receiving, it can be a way of feeling control over another or a way of defending the self from the good feelings that are generated from the other’s act of giving.
Sacrifice - It is the ultimate form of giving. It literally means to make sacred. That for which we sacrifice is made sacred. Sacrifice, through out time, has been our way of interaction with the spiritual. read it all HERE
· Thanks to L.A. Therapist, sidebar
· Thanks to Dr. James E. Walton
· Thanks to Inspiration
· Thanks to The World Around Me
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