READY OR NOT/LIKE IT OR NOT: We, people like me, have always been standing shoulder to shoulder with all of YOU!

Here I am ¨Getting Better¨ with all of you at The Anglican Communion/beyond

One of my most long term thoughts is a bit mischievous...it´s about deception, perception and the flat out dummies, albeit sometimes deadly ignoramouses, on the prowl to humiliate/degrade their very own LGBTI family, friends and co-beings in everyday society.

Most all of my life, the part I remember, I´ve been Gay. Even though I didn´t know for the first part what ¨Gay¨ was I knew I liked men in a profoundly more ¨attracted¨ way than I liked women (whom I also adored but not intimately). I like people. I also knew to keep my inner-stirring ¨thoughts¨ to myself. When I went to Church Camp as a kid every Summer I knew to keep my eyes front and center and not look too much from side to side. I had good manners anyway, Gay, Straight or whatever. I knew when I was in the shower, throughout my schoolife, to keep my eyes off anything or anyone that might cause tension for me or others--a test that I think heterosexual males would have a hard time passing if showering with the opposite sex--I always knew to keep my deepest sexual curiosities to myself...that, of course was not a requirement (mostly) for heterosexuals of any age in most any real life situation.

For years into adulthood I actually had to ¨drink¨ lots of alcohol to settle into being the authentic me in Gay social situations, even in the Gay bars of San Francisco I felt uneasy until ¨relaxed.¨ I was very disciplined even when walking down a street and avoided extra eye-contact with anyone although I chatted comfortably amongst others. Vigilant comes to mind. I had taught myself to deflect most any outside interest directed toward me as a safeguard so I wouldn´t be ¨found out.¨ I was an emotional mess because of my tangled-up idea of rigidity which I presumed was my best defense against being humiliated. Well, it seemed safer when considering the wrath directed against more aggressive, less cautious, people like me.

Heterosexuals have always enjoyed strutting their stuff (mostly) and yakking up a storm about their sexual desires (mostly)...they´ve always made a great pass-time out of ogling others with or without clothes, with or without respect, with or without basic manners and with or without invitation to do so...it´s simply seemed ¨expected¨ for them to demonstrate, albeit often only in words, what they ¨see¨ that appealed to them and what they would like to ¨do¨ sexually...conversely the SAME is NOT true for LGBTI people who´ve always been standing with them, working with them, celebrating their engagements, weddings, babies and anniversaries with them...we know how to behave and we know what ¨to do¨ when respecting the privacy of our fellow human beings...besides, we HAD TO! Many Heterosexual brethern (and sisters too) go on-and-on about their sexual desires, intimacies and sexual conquests publicly but they also sometimes ¨go off¨ about OURS and how they loath them and people like us when the subject of US comes up.

So there you have it, when I read the following entry this morning from The Gay Agenda blog I smiled...I smiled because with all the nonsense, mine and everyone elses, and with all the current attempts at excluding at the Global South/Anglican Communion and beyond...WE, people like me, have always been front and center in life, participating fully in life, and standing shoulder to shoulder with all of YOU if you like it not, ready or not, we´re right here. It may be unsettling for some of YOU, you´ll adjust or not, but never the less, it´s true. WE are like you even if you don´t have the courage to pay attention to REALITY and to US.

The great fear, denial, hatred and emotional/spiritual instability that lurks/lurked within me and some of you will not change a thing...reality it´s not so bad, it just takes some getting used to.

We are like China, we are always present.

¨With all the debate over repealing ‘DADT’ is the right thing to do, those who oppose lifting the ban say that it could have grave consequences on military readiness because people in the military will worry about taking showers with gay servicemembers.

Well, one answer to them, you already have.¨ HERE

· Thanks to The Gay Agenda, sidebar
· Thanks for the Memory
· Thanks to David Green, Pride Shield

First Lieutenant Laura Slattery: ¨I knew I was in love, but with a woman. It was a severe test for me¨

May 5, 2010

President Barack H. Obama
The White House
1600 Pennsylvania Avenue Northwest
Washington, DC 20500

Dear Mr. President,

I may be stating perhaps an obvious truism: Love is confusing. As a friend and, later in life, a chaplain, I have counseled many as they tried to navigate the toughest of love‘s questions: Is this the person I should marry? Is this infatuation or love, and how can I know the difference? Should I take the relationship to the next level?

The first time I fell in love, it was just as confusing. I knew I was in love, but with a woman. It was a severe test for me. I had never been in a same-sex relationship and didn‘t see myself as gay. Yet the fact remained — I was in love.

Adding to the confusion, and the fear of the whole experience (love can be scary enough on its own!), was the fact that I had just graduated from West Point and was serving as a Second Lieutenant (2LT) at Schofield Barracks.

I had gone to West Point, to a large degree, because of the code of honor. Integrity has always been, of all the values, the one I hold most dear. My mother had graduated from UCLA and I remember clearly the day she told me how disappointed she was when she saw some of her students buying and selling papers they had written.

At that moment I thought: Nope, that is not going to happen to me. I am going to a school that matches my desire and need for honesty and integrity.

So there I was – in love with a woman – and a brand new 2LT on a small island in the middle of the Pacific Ocean.

The easiest thing for me to do -- and the course of action I tried -- was to encourage myself to run from love. I also considered confiding in others, but given the horror stories of investigations and removals from duty, I decided against it. The thought of the shame of being interrogated and kicked out of the Service for something I wasn‘t even sure I was (a lesbian!), was too much to bear.

In the short three years that I was on active duty, I was Airborne and Air Assault (first female Distinguished Honor Graduate). During the First Gulf War, I volunteered to go to Iraq. Due to the needs of the Army, however, I remained in the Pacific – working in the 25th Infantry Division.

The values of physical work, integrity, service and team building made the Army an almost ideal place for me. I may have continued serving if I had felt more a part of the team.

I was well-liked and had friends, but not being able to share the biggest struggle in my life (and the biggest joy) with my peers and military friends prevented me from really forming the kind of friendships that one needs to feel as an integral part of a team.

It’s the warmth and support of a team that is truly needed for real “unit cohesion” among the officer corps and with the troops. It is necessary to continue to risk life and limb for each other.

In the end we risked everything not only for our country, but for our country personified in and by our buddies, members of that integral team. Not feeling that, I resigned my commission in September of 1991.

If I can be so bold, Mr. President: we need to help soldiers, and all people really, develop healthy understandings of what it is to be human, divorced from antiquated stereotypes about gender and gender roles.

“Macho” has no place in the modern professional Army; put downs and negative comparisons to the feminine are also hurtful to the Esprit de Corps of the Forces.

I know that you have based your Administration on creating a culture of respect for difference, of developing your version of “unit cohesion” based on the values of inclusion and diversity, not in spite of them.

This is the direction that the military needs to go, and it can start by repealing DADT now. HERE

Sincerely,
Former First Lieutenant Laura Slattery
United States Army

“Stories from the Frontlines: Letters to President Barack Obama” is a new media campaign launched to underscore the urgent need for congressional action and presidential leadership at this critical point in the fight to repeal “Don’t Ask, Don’t Tell” (DADT). Every weekday morning as we approach the markup of the Defense Authorization bill in the Senate and House Armed Services Committees, SLDN and a coalition of voices supporting repeal, will share an open letter to the President from a person impacted by this discriminatory law. We are urging the President to include repeal in the Administration’s defense budget recommendations, but also to voice his support as we work to muster the 15 critical votes needed on the Senate Armed Services Committee to include repeal. The Defense Authorization bill represents the best legislative vehicle to bring repeal to the president’s desk. It also was the same vehicle used to pass DADT in 1993. By working together, we can help build momentum to get the votes! We ask that you forward and post these personal stories. ATTENTION PLEASE: More Military Stories HERE


QUICKLY READ THE REAL FACTS: The TRUTH about DADT HERE


· Thanks to Servicemembers Legal Defense Network
· Thanks to First Lieutenant Laura Slattery