Mar 8, 2014

MATT DOOLEY/NOTRE DAME: “Saying gay for the first time was extremely tough, almost choking, because you know your life will never be the same¨

Matt Dooley  “Often time it’s more of what you think of yourself.”

SOUTH BEND, Ind. — Notre Dame tennis player Matt Dooley said the hardest person to tell he was gay was himself.
Saying gay for the first time was extremely tough, almost choking, because you know your life will never be the same. That was the hardest part, to move forward from there,” the 22-year-old senior said Thursday. “For me at least, every part of my being was like, ‘No, no you’re not.’ But I talk about growing. You learn to accept what you can’t change, and this is something I can’t change.”
Dooley says he has received “overwhelmingly positive” feedback since disclosing publicly that he is gay. He had told his coaches in August and his teammates on Sept. 16, the two-year anniversary of trying to commit suicide by overdosing on pills because he was struggling with who he was.
“That day I wanted nothing more than to escape the anguish of coming out to my family, my friends, and, in a way, myself,” he wrote in the article. “Death was better than accepting — or revealing — that I was gay.”
Even after the suicide attempt, he ostracized himself from his family for more than seven months because he feared their reaction and because he was still struggling to accept who he was. He wouldn’t return his family’s phone calls or emails and stayed away when they tried to visit, even though they were fully behind him when he came out.
“It’s internal homophobia,” he said. “Often time it’s more of what you think of yourself.”-there is more, please read it all
http://www.lgbtqnation.com/2014/03/notre-dame-tennis-player-matt-dooley-reveals-he-is-gay/
Thanks to LGBTQ Nation, sidebar

2 comments:

Christina Brennan Lee said...

Such an important piece of the puzzle, that we all - gay or straight - need to understand. I have friends who have said as much and it's a message that needs to be shared widely. Thanks for sharing this story!

Leonardo Ricardo said...

Thank you Christina,

It's true. Beliving the lies about LGBT can twist a person (a person like me)...I drank the lies away until I was 35 and then one dark night/drunk night on my living room floor God made it clear that being me, the authentic me, was the challenge...nothing else. Presto, gulp! I am so glad that we have met through sharing with friends online.