Dec 12, 2012

ACCEPTANCE IS THE KEY: Tomorrow I will have experienced 34 years of continuous recovery away from active alcoholism!

My life is still coming into sharper focus and my sobriety date is December 13, 1978
My anniversary being/living sober is tomorrow.  Each year, at this time of year, I review my life in sobriety that has manifested itself before me in the form of ongoing adventures, clarity, character revelations, choices made, chances (both taken and not), sadness, happiness, boredom, depression/glee and general self-accountability. Things done wonderfully well and things that I could have done better while learning how to ¨be¨ fully present in my own life.  You know, *everyday living* events, emotions and outcomes that I would have not have seen, or participated in, if I had continued drinking heavily -- way past heavily -- and if I had not lived the 69 years I now have lived.  

I am dazzled, not dazed, yet still sometimes out of focus, when viewing/evaluating the results of so many years away from my active alcoholism disease.  I know myself quite well now.  At 34 years sobereve, I've noted there is still much to be done as NEW, maturing, growing older experiences have challenged me.  There is no place to hide, which is a good thing, but still takes some getting used to, when sitting/running around in the front row of my own life. Some of the physical edges of life are starting to delay/decay a little.  Older people always said that.  Now I am starting to understand what ¨getting old isn´t for cowards¨ meant.  I am actually HAVING a, fully/mostly, typical vertical life experience.  Born, grown, primed up and out, educated/played, hard worker, well traveled, retired and now it's the time of for aging into mature adulthood process.  What a trip it has been, gracias a Dios (for the lifting of active alcoholism -- I couldn't not drink) but, naturally, true to my disease, I want more of all the great beauty and adventure that has been gifted to me...more or everything that I love (addictively). 

Acceptance is the key.

I have deep oceans of thanksgiving for the endless life adventures that have come my way in sobriety.  I have HUGE depth of/first hand knowledge of the world and many of the people living in it in their various cultures and social circumstances.  People, places and also things that have abundantly woven themselves into my very custom life journey in sobriety.

I am grateful.  I am grateful to all of you, living and beyond this life, who have touched me, liked me, loved me, helped me and sometimes sternly fought with me, in order that I find my way in reality.  For me, sobriety almost equals reality. There must remain my willingness to see things as they really are and not just as I wish or insist or even still pretend that they must be.  I am quite dazzled with my everyday witness as I see both you and me better...on a clear day I can see forever.

Mil gracias for being here with me.  I love my family and I love my friends and billions of other human beings too,

Leonard Clark/Leonardo Ricardo
Guatemala, Central America


JCF said...

Mazel Tov! {non-alcoholic toast! ;-) }

Ciss B said...

A toast of love I think would be appropriate! What you did was hard work and I am really thankful with you for your many years of sobriety!

Leonard Clark said...

Thank you, I love you both and like so many of my dearest newest friends over these years, I would never had known you if I'd been drinking (probably not alive anyway). Un gran abrazo, Len

MarkBrunson said...

Massive congratulations! I know I treasure each anniversary of my giving up the wee dram.

Leonard Clark said...

Thank you Mark, MASSIVE is exactly the size/amount of things that I love (when I love'em)! Pleasure to see you here at my 34th year sober anniversary online outburst.

Grandmère Mimi said...

Congratulations, Len. I rejoice with you. You are a blessing in my life.

Leonard Clark said...

Thank Mimi and YOU are a inspiration in mine.