|My life is still coming into sharper focus and my sobriety date is December 13, 1978|
I am dazzled, not dazed, yet still sometimes out of focus, when viewing/evaluating the results of so many years away from my active alcoholism disease. I know myself quite well now. At 34 years sobereve, I've noted there is still much to be done as NEW, maturing, growing older experiences have challenged me. There is no place to hide, which is a good thing, but still takes some getting used to, when sitting/running around in the front row of my own life. Some of the physical edges of life are starting to delay/decay a little. Older people always said that. Now I am starting to understand what ¨getting old isn´t for cowards¨ meant. I am actually HAVING a, fully/mostly, typical vertical life experience. Born, grown, primed up and out, educated/played, hard worker, well traveled, retired and now it's the time of for aging into mature adulthood process. What a trip it has been, gracias a Dios (for the lifting of active alcoholism -- I couldn't not drink) but, naturally, true to my disease, I want more of all the great beauty and adventure that has been gifted to me...more or everything that I love (addictively).
Acceptance is the key.
I have deep oceans of thanksgiving for the endless life adventures that have come my way in sobriety. I have HUGE depth of/first hand knowledge of the world and many of the people living in it in their various cultures and social circumstances. People, places and also things that have abundantly woven themselves into my very custom life journey in sobriety.
I am grateful. I am grateful to all of you, living and beyond this life, who have touched me, liked me, loved me, helped me and sometimes sternly fought with me, in order that I find my way in reality. For me, sobriety almost equals reality. There must remain my willingness to see things as they really are and not just as I wish or insist or even still pretend that they must be. I am quite dazzled with my everyday witness as I see both you and me better...on a clear day I can see forever.
Mil gracias for being here with me. I love my family and I love my friends and billions of other human beings too,
Leonard Clark/Leonardo Ricardo
Guatemala, Central America