tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6795165206797872713.post8860993010097593495..comments2023-10-24T07:15:57.850-06:00Comments on Eruptions At The Foot Of The Volcano: ¨I have lost dozens of friends to suicide, alcoholism, and depression. I’ve lost friends to gay bashing, and to a disease that ran unchecked...Leonardhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/16667415590825321701noreply@blogger.comBlogger8125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6795165206797872713.post-31068323911391064362008-12-27T02:49:00.000-06:002008-12-27T02:49:00.000-06:00Wow. CK taps into a deep reservoir of pain and rag...Wow. CK taps into a deep reservoir of pain and rage that those of us in her generation certainly must identify with. But for us the "issue" is how do we channel that to get things done? Angry howls and tying ourselves in knots until we can't sleep won't move us forward. Nor will retrofitting our past burdens and anguish on the generations behind us.<BR/><BR/>I couldn't agree more--it's vital we tell our story and impress on younger members of our community (and our allies) how far we've come and the price we've paid for the progress we've made. Yet we also need to be realistic. No matter how vividly we convey what we've been through, those who (thank God) escaped the early horror of AIDS, the pre-hate-crime days of killing us for sport, the illegal bar raids, job losses, etc., will never have the first-hand experiences required to summon such anger.<BR/><BR/>Abuses and tragedies, like the Austin one KC mentions, still occur, that's true. And we must all--young and old, gay and straight--do everything in our power to end them. But because we've not yet stamped out homophobia entirely doesn't mean we should discredit the enormous progress we've achieved. Nor should we overlook the fact that behaviors and ambitions that once gave us pause are becoming more commonly accepted in the cultural landscape. We have our younger brothers and sisters and straight allies to thank for that. <BR/><BR/>A lot of what intimidated us vis-a-vis the limits of how we expressed ourselves publicly doesn't faze these kids. And, frankly, CK's comments about holding her partner's hand and other reservations don't jibe with anything I've experienced for the better part of 10 years, here in Chicago, in major American cities, and in Europe--and, of all places, San Francisco. When I got to that section of her essay, it threw me in a time warp.<BR/><BR/>Our 35-year-old nephew and his husband just returned to their Atlanta home this afternoon. They left behind a gorgeous, hard-bound coffee table book of photographs from their wedding in San Francisco last September. Last night, they showed us their Georgia driver's licenses with their legally changed hyphenated surnames. Our nephew told us how he showed his wedding album to one of his coworkers, a straight woman who'd also recently married, and how envious she was of the photography and layout. Tonight, a straight neighbor of ours (female, 39) dropped by and thumbed through the album, repeatedly commenting on what a handsome couple our nephews were, etc.<BR/><BR/>This is as much--possibly, hopefully, a greater--part of present reality than what CK describes. That was past reality. And there's a huge difference between keeping the past alive and living with it; confusing the two results in the latter. I'm sorry CK suffered physical violence because she's gay. I grieve for the unresolved anguish she suffers now. But if she's suggesting what I think she is--continuing to salt old wounds instead of focusing on healthier situations--count me out.<BR/><BR/>A "movement" that marches backwards to reengage in long-fought battles, lost or won, isn't moving toward anything coming generations can use. Unless we've been lying to the world and ourselves, our objective has always focused on securing a place of respect in the larger society. That means we're going to have to learn to live with (and love) people we don't like (Rick Warren, e.g.) and agendas that don't consider our feelings more important than those of others. The younger kids get this because they've not been scarred nearly as deeply as we have--they've grown up to see themselves as part of a bigger world where "gay" is only one of dozens of labels. They realize we're not "there" yet, but they're also wise enough to know that "inclusion" is a myth if it doesn't encompass everyone, that our acceptance at the expense of others' rejection--even those who reject us--gets us nowhere.<BR/><BR/>They're a stealthy, savvy crew, these kids; that's what the times call for. Our times called for confrontation and outrage, and we did a fine job of pushing things forward. But if we're not canny enough to realize new days deliver new methods and messages, we're taking a huge risk of minimizing our profile and losing ground we've already won. And where are we? We're at the point where securing our full rights as equals depends crucially on our willingness to treat everyone as our equals. We have to cross that bridge.<BR/><BR/>Let it go, CK. Pick yourself up, turn around, and look forward with the rest of us. This movement is pressing ahead, with or without you, whether or not you like its strategies and style.Timhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01271248501086241494noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6795165206797872713.post-24560506473982438622008-12-24T23:48:00.000-06:002008-12-24T23:48:00.000-06:00You may disregard my first comment, I hear you.You may disregard my first comment, <BR/>I hear you.Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6795165206797872713.post-81497513287096927592008-12-24T23:45:00.000-06:002008-12-24T23:45:00.000-06:00and Merry Christmas to you :-)and Merry Christmas to you :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6795165206797872713.post-41161904846012968452008-12-24T23:44:00.000-06:002008-12-24T23:44:00.000-06:00may you please respond to the issues raised by Leo...may you please respond to the issues raised by Leo and David?<BR/>That might give me an understanding on how to approach this post,<BR/>till next time,<BR/>easy does it :-)Anonymousnoreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6795165206797872713.post-84801024236421968122008-12-23T08:58:00.000-06:002008-12-23T08:58:00.000-06:00I assume, since I´m American, I worked all of my l...I assume, since I´m American, I worked all of my life since age 17, and I paid more taxes just in the State of California than many make in a lifetime of payrolls (we won´t go into my Federal Taxes and my NO DEDUCTIONS) that I still have the citizenship that I was born with in Washington...I lived in San Francisco, Los Angeles, Scottsdale, San Juan (and part time in New York) most of my adult working life...my Mothers family was Pioneers to the West as well as notable early American Virginians, I´m a registered voter in Florida, a officially RETIRED Social Security and Medicare Card holder...maintain my residencey in Florida...what´s your question? Never did I not report/pay U.S. Taxes (including now)...what´s your question?Leonardhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/16667415590825321701noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6795165206797872713.post-2097081473963403902008-12-23T07:31:00.000-06:002008-12-23T07:31:00.000-06:00LOL...I love to BITCH!!even if it accomplishes not...LOL...I love to BITCH!!<BR/><BR/>even if it accomplishes nothing, other than to release the pressures of life!!David G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15579600744831973105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6795165206797872713.post-3256518471440492312008-12-23T04:14:00.000-06:002008-12-23T04:14:00.000-06:00This comment has been removed by the author.David G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15579600744831973105noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-6795165206797872713.post-82133053270918720652008-12-23T03:38:00.000-06:002008-12-23T03:38:00.000-06:00I haven't read you're post, yet ...But I know wher...I haven't read you're post, yet ...<BR/><BR/>But I know where it is going...<I>You Bitch!</I><BR/><BR/>You just wait till I'm done reading... I'll assume I have something to say, <I>if I don't pass out while reading it</I>.<BR/><BR/>(one of those nights)...Which you <I>maybe</I> can remember...lol.<BR/><BR/>I care too much for my old man health to endanger it, ...with aspects of still living after the fact.<BR/><BR/>Suicide is <B>Final</B>, ..there should be <B>NO</B> vegetative state.<BR/><BR/>That is why I keep <B>close</B> friends around, ..who can read my moods.David G.https://www.blogger.com/profile/15579600744831973105noreply@blogger.com